The Intemperate Christian

Vive La Resistance!!!

2008-08-05T21:17:00.000-04:00

ROCK OUT...

2008-08-02T15:18:00.001-04:00

Please go check out Los' blog. He has posted an awesome announcement video and I am terribly excited and thrilled to hear about the planting of a new church in Atlanta by a preacher I admire so very much.

The New "Church" Model...

2008-08-02T14:35:00.003-04:00

...I am so pumped.

I sat in on a Bible study this morning and a certain pastor who joined us was discussing the possible future of his church and the proto-vision I've had for a really cool church falls right in line with what this guy would like to do.

1. Get a building without a steeple. Steeples aren't necessary, nor are they Biblical. Is it bad to have one? No. It's nice to have one. Do you NEED a steeple to have a church? No. It's nice to not have one (they DO cost money, and really...what purpose do they serve?).

2. Plant your church in a warehouse. My current church does this, and despite the poor signage out front advertising the church location and the terribly unattractive exterior of the warehouse, the ability to renovate more inexpensively, efficiently, and flexibly is awesome. It's also cheaper to renovate, light, run appropriate AV wires, paint, and build/tear down walls than in a "permanent" traditional churchy-church building.

3. Aim to have a church campus that serves in its main services between 500-1500 people. Beyond that and you run into the same traffic flow (foot and auto) that small stadiums experience. People like to get into church easily and out of church easily.

4. Expand to multiple campuses. Man, I'm so intrigued and refreshed by the campus model that Saddleback, Mars Hill, Northpoint, and Newspring employ. Having a "main" campus that either provides a video feed or recording of the head pastor's teaching, combined with live music and on-campus pastors at the satellite campuses is really cool.

5. Focus on communication through technology. Sorry, old people. This is an age of e-communication. That doesn't mean people don't leave their houses and only communicate with each other like some Asimov-ian sci-fi story gone bad; it means that, with technology and new software, people are able to keep in better and more constant contact with each other: if I want to update all my friends with how the building of my new house is coming, I can take a pic of my house on my phone, text it out to all of my friends, and hear back from them, all in the span of minutes. I can post video of this Sunday's service and friends and family in other states and even countries can see it on Youtube within minutes. People who can't leave their house or hospitals due to medical limitations can now access profitable Christian teaching and material online, through their iPhone, iTunes, email, blogs, and Twitters. Go tell it on the mountain? Shoot...go tell it on the INTERWEB!!11!1!

6. Streamline the costs of physical "churchy" church, serve the teaching and counseling needs of as many people, and be able to spend more money and resources on helping the community--wow. I wonder if Jesus would be a fan...well, I think He would, especially if the church in question focused on Him, loved Him, preached Him, served Him, chased after Him, and consulted and praised Him in all. The pastor I was listening to regarding his vision sounded pretty in-tune and Biblical to me.

I can't wait to see this church take that next step and emerge as a reformed version of a renewed Christian paradigm. One with as much knowledge as ever, but with more heart and awe for the name of Jesus.

Add into that, some of the things that Kenny and I have chewed on (and boyyyy, will a lot of Bible-thumpers, pale-priests, and scared old ladies get mad at some of these suggestions!):

--get a taco/burrito restaurant to set up shop in the corner of the church building, open to a church lounge with tv's, couches, and chairs, opened during normal business hours.

--sell/offer coffee at a working coffee bar

--offer a working Christian library/research/store that doesn't just sell Thomas Kinkade - Kirk Kameron - Michael W. Smith stuff. Those are nice guys and I'm sure we'll party with them in Heaven. But I think Mark Batterson, Donald Miller, and Marc Driscoll have something to offer people looking for reliable Christian answers, too.

--an ATM so you can get cash out for tithe, to spend at the taco joint, or so you can go out to lunch after church (the church wouldn't charge an ATM fee as a service to the people at the church).

...oh, I know. Go ahead and quote the part where Jesus got pissed off and tossed the money changers and dove-merchants out, saying that they'd turned his Father's house into a "den of thieves."

...and I'll gladly throw your self-righteous use of God's Word back in your face. Jesus rightly called it a den of thieves because the dudes He was mad at were STEALING AND CHEATING. Fair trade of money for food (at good prices and quality) is cool. Helping people get access to their money (at no cost to them, through a free ATM) is a service. The money changers were cheating people through fees, interest scams, etc.

I'd like to make the new, emerging Christian church of the 21st century a little more faithful to the days of Acts 2, when we (the Church) experienced more "favor of the people." Where did they have church back then? In people's houses (small groups) and in the temple and in the market places (hello? Places to corporately worship and places where people could chill out, play some bocce ball, and eat some tacos!).

I'd love to be part of a church where not only Christians liked to be, but nonChristians did, too. NonChristians are our target recipients, not Christians. Let's show nonChristians a good time being had by Christians. Let's show them you don't have to be a courdoroy jump-suit-wearing, get-a-haircut-hippy, Davey-and-Goliath-watching robot in order for Jesus to love you.

Let's start by playing Guitar Hero at church (thanks, Kirk at Avalon!).

I Want to Be...

2008-07-29T19:20:00.003-04:00

...a pastor someday. I want to use the talent God gave me--which is mainly the spiritual gift of running my mouth--to entertain, read, study, and preach to people.

I want to talk about Jesus and how we fit into Him for a living.

Who knows...maybe God's just crazy enough to tell me to help Him plant a church someday.

I've simply got to confess that, as an English teacher, the most important things I have to share with people don't end up on my test. While The Great Gatsby is important stuff, he stuff I want to talk to people about is ultimately and infinitely more important.

Pray for me...and pray for the people who end up with me in front of them, teaching. I honestly have no idea what God's timetable for this change in my vocation is, but all I know is that it's "not yet."

LoL cats can has a blog now?

2008-07-29T18:36:00.002-04:00

more cat

Back to it...

2008-07-29T18:12:00.004-04:00

...yargh! Four days since I've last blogged!

Now that I'm back to work for the year--preplanning for teachers began yesterday--I need to get back into a cleaning the house, doing chores, writing type of rhythm.

First, a few links for you to take a look at, though, you can find these blogs on Kenny's site or on my right hand side links list.

Pastor Hacks: for the techno-savvy; I have very little idea of what this guy is talking about most of the time, but when I do understand, he's tremendously ingenuitive and insightful.

Orson Scott Card reviews Batman (which I have not done here, but need to!).

Perry Noble on establishing and leading a church--this is one part of my heart God's been chewing on. No idea how to get there, but I've been praying that my time at Avalon and with my friends and family might prepare and lead me to preparation.

A dramatic reading of a REAL breakup letter by a REAL person.

Finally, what I'm reading now (click image for link):

A Sparse Week...

2008-07-25T13:42:00.002-04:00

...but nonetheless, a busy one.

A GREAT band camp week at Ola High--the kids were rocking it and melting face (in the way only band geeks can).

I got to see some faces last night I haven't seen in a long time (sadly). I love hanging out with and talking with the Holmes family. Their daughters--former students of mine--Merril and Rachel are in town and I got to speak with mom and dad, too. Those girls don't know how to sit still, which is awesome. Both are beautiful, talented, friendly, and SMART.

God has been laying a few lessons on my heart this week, amid all the business. A few of those things:

--Jesus wants me to tell people about Him, not just so they can go to Heaven, but so He gets the sovereign praise He deserves. As we struggle to live our lives in a Christ-like way and as our evangelism suffers, God is being robbed of His glory.

--before I ever get to be a pastor or help plant a church or become a great volunteer at a church, I need to be the pastor of my first church--my family. I can't tend to Jesus' flock until I am a good pastor and leader for my own wife and daughter(s).

I'll leave you with a video I ganked from Lisa. I REALLY enjoyed this series (make sure to continue through all 8 or 9 from the YouTube site).

Good Enough...For Me to Poop On!!

2008-07-20T20:36:00.003-04:00

I have copied and pasted, in all of its splendor and glory, my recounting of the most heinous infant crap-crime in history. The perpetrator: my daughter, Maggie. The scene: my downstairs bathroom, 7:05 AM, random morning before school.

This is the unedited version, so spelling, grammar, and punctuational consistency may be questionable.

The facts are not questionable.

This is an unembellished version of what happened.

Honestly.

For real.
---------------------------------------------

…as I picked Maggie up to take her out to the truck, I caught a whiff of the worst stomach-churning, acrid-sweet smell I’ve ever smelled. My left hand, placed under her bottom to lift her, apparently squished all the crap up and out of her diaper, over the lip of her pants and onto my hand.

I freak and gag. Maggie laughs and squeals.

I realize that I obviously have to change her, but anywhere I put her down will have crap on it…so, I put her in the downstairs bathtub.

Once she’s there, I see that there is crap up her back now, too. I try to get her shirt and jacket off, but they have crap on them and it streaks up her back and shoulders, making a faux-skunk stripe on her. I place them at the one end of the tub. I gag again and turn toward the toilet in case anything happens.

When I look back, Maggie has done a barrel roll in the tub and now has a thin, smeary belt of doody on her torso and is trying to push into a crawling position. Crap on my hands, I grab her arms, turn her on her back, and try to remover her pants and then diaper. Pants come off quite easily when lubricated with dung. The diaper, however, was another story. The thing practically disintegrates and roughly one pound of grayish-green dooky spills onto her legs (she’s now shrieking and squealing with glee).

I get up to grab some wipes from my office so I can start trying to wipe the worst off of Maggie’s legs, I realize that there are many spooky little baby hand prints all over the inside of the tub. Maggie had decided to do some finger painting and had now given herself a sort of poop-scarf around her neck. I frantically tear off toilet paper and wipe the crap off her hands and neck and chest and come to the realization I should have had the minute I found the poop on her in the first place—she needs to be stripped and bathed.

So, without removing my little tar-baby from the tub, I turn the water on, which is freezing. Maggie gasps, cries, and then commences to pee in this odd little squirty arc, which doesn’t matter much since it can’t get much worse than the layer of pooh covering her legs (I had visions of Ross crying into the phone to Joey, “It’s formed a paste!”).

I slide Maggie up to the high end of the tub, where she decides it’s time to do gymnastics. Her head goes right onto the poopy part of her shirt and now she’s got diarrhea on her ear and matted in her hair. With one hand, I hold her down and try not to let her squirm in the crap more, while I use my other hand to adjust the water temp.

Father and daughter, locked in a deadly game of mud-wrestling and both cursing each other, fight for their lives.

I succeed in getting the water warm and, using the tub like a Poop-N’-Slide, maneuver Maggie under the faucet and steer the clumps of doody down the drain and the smeared feces off her body (down the drain, also). Luckily, this is where Shannon bathes Maggie normally, so the baby wash is handy. I rub her down GOOD with the soap, clear the crap from her hair, give her a good twice over to check for more fecal matter, and then…how do I, dressed in my teacher clothes, which, by the way, have stayed miraculously dooky free through the ordeal, lift a squirmy, slippery little monkey like this without dropping her, and where do I put her while I try to get a clean towel to dry her off?

Maggie gets strapped into her bouncy-chair in my office, naked, wet, cold, and screaming, while Daddy careens up the stairs and retrieves a bath towel. I return, toss the towel over Maggie to let her warm up, go to the bath, try my best to clear the remains of the dookie down the drain. Once most of it is gone (sorry, Shannon, there’s a little more to take care of tonight when we get home), I sigh with semi-relief now that the major portion of the disaster is passed. I wipe hand over my forehead and then scratch my goatee, as I’ve now been sweating profusely, and stand to go wash my hands…my hands…that just…touched…my face.

I stand before myself in the mirror of my downstairs bathroom, my daughter’s crap darkening my brow and beard, sweating, tired, and defeated. If I could survive a bath in steaming acid, I would have taken one right then. I go to wash myself in the sink…Shannon, can you pick up some more hand soap from Target on your way home this evening? We’re out…

Once I’m taken care of (in the kitchen sink, using dish soap), I return to Maggie and dry her off (she’s calmed by now and is now giggling at something—most likely, me).

Well…Maggie and I survived. She’s at day care, happy, safe, warm, and playing with her cousin, McKinley—I promise you, Krystal, Maggie is fecal-free—but she does look like a clown (vertically striped pink, green, brown Old Navy pants and horizontally striped pink and white shirt with a picture of Frosty the Snowman on the chest, black socks). I made it to school—a little late—without having to change my clothes.

I will cleanse the tub when I get home (the crapped-upon clothes are sitting on a box in the garage…I felt like burning them in the sort of ritual that holy-men use to destroy purely evil entities).

I just wanted you to know about my morning and why, Shannon, I bothered you this morning on the phone when you had kids in your room.
Thanks. I want to play some World of Warcraft now…and then sleep…but, it’s time to get back to grading some papers and teaching these high schoolers...and dealing with their crap.

Nothing Ryhmes...

2008-07-20T20:15:00.003-04:00

...with Nicaragua, except Managua--and that doesn't count because it's a city in that country.

Nonetheless, please pray for Ross Cooper (and along with him, Garret Donovan and several other folks). His independent ministry, The Outsiders, are in Nicaragua, doing some missions work.

Plenty of things to think about and pray about, including their safety and our hope that God will create new hearts--that the name of Jesus (I'm pronouncing it, "hay-zoos," because they're in Nicaragua) will be on their lips.

Donkey-shins (that's "thank you" in German).

God's Synchronicity...

2008-07-20T14:59:00.003-04:00

...can be pretty disturbing.

I'm sure some of you have had those days or even weeks where some sort of image or symbol or theme continues to pop up in your life and you are no longer able to reject its presence as coincidental.

Carl Jung had this whole, convoluted, philosophical boulder of yarn in which he described the workings of and the nature of synchronicity.

Example of synchronicity:
Basically, you wake up in the morning and while showering behind your fish-themed shower curtain, you hear a news story on the radio about a record salmon catch off the coast of Oregon (or wherever the heck salmon are caught). As you leave the house that morning, your spouse suggests you have fish for dinner that night. Your kid calls on the cellphone right before lunch and invites you to lunch at Red Lobster, where he's pleased to announce he's got a new part time job. When you return to the office, you notice your buddy wearing a pink shirt which you give him a lot of crap about (I just accidentally mistyped "carp"). He becomes indignant and claims the color is "salmon." Throughout the day--or even the next several days--unignorable images and references to fish seem to dominate your attention. You start to wonder if God or the Universe is trying to tell you something.

Interesting, mystical, cool concept and one I really enjoy thinking about and discussing.

All that is provided to say:

I've been really interested lately in how Christianity should respond to and operate within and outside of contemporary American culture. After reading Blue Like Jazz, and as I am now working through chapter one of unchristian, I come across this insightful blog post and the article that inspired it.

So terribly true. Our contemporary culture, especially that culture which my generation and younger participate in, is an ever more diverse, hard-to-handle, hard-to-quantify mish-mash of brand/political/musical-genre/religious-sect/media/technology loyalty.

In other words:

/IRONY
non-conformity is totally in.

We, as the church, should be seeking to be relevant in the only way that is universal--that is, God yearns for us and wants us to accept Jesus so that we can be together in this life and the next, relieved of the guilt and debt of sin.

The way we express that is going to have to be diverse, adaptable, and predicated first on truth. Rather than seeking to tap into a particular cultural interest in Coldplay or NiN, Survivor or House, iPods or Zunes, we need to focus first on how to communicate the essential truths that link us humans up to God.

Am I saying we shouldn't try to tap into and communicate through contemporary culture? Uhh...no. I'm saying we should try to do it more effectively. What we've done too often is try to coopt and tame (all too often, five or ten years too late) what secular culture has created. Just walk into any Christian book store--you'll find ganked logo and icon after ganked logo and icon on most of the Christian tee shirts. Very few original Christian concepts for "fashion."

Don't know about you, but I think we've 1 or 2 pretty good logos to work with already. Do we really need to try to convince the World that we Christians are cool and hip with "Sonkist" tees?

Again, read the article. A lot to chew on (and a little hard to swallow for some, I'm sure).

Journey FTW!!

2008-07-18T13:24:00.001-04:00

I expect Lisa and Kenny to sing...and not only sing, but to pump their fists.

That Was My Big Toe...

2008-07-16T21:56:00.004-04:00

...testing the water.

Thanks first goes to Jesus. Thanks for getting me through my first talk ever and giving me your Word.

Thanks to Kenny and Shannon and Casey for showing up for moral support. You guys are my accountability partners and members of my small group. It was comforting to give that talk in front the very subject matter.

Thanks to my Shannon for giving me the space and time and patience to work on the message and for reading it over my shoulder and being my main accountability partner and for sex and for our kids.

A few thoughts:

--this was fun. I was a bit shellshocked after the talk, but as it all simmers and percolates in the aftermath, I found that I really had fun. All the fun of teaching and entertaining and offering things for people to digest and hopefully to be edified by...it was there.

--all of that fun is increased because I know that it's for the one thing in life that I'm learning is most important. I didn't have to hold back on what I thought Jesus was giving me because it was just band or public school. This was stuff that matters and that Jesus wants us to know and obey.

--of the material I prepared, I covered probably 60%. The 40% that got left out, happily, were not main points or essential concepts. A personal story was one of the main things I missed, which makes me a little sad, because I think it's a funny and terribly relevant story. The ONLY thing that honestly makes me regretful is that the really good, meaty scripture God gave me to prepare for...right out the window. Yes, I hit the passage in John and yes, I did make reference to the passage in James and I paraphrased some other specific passages, but offering the students scripture they can jot down and look at for themselves is an important thing to me...so...

--...not a gripe against what I did, but a mental note of how I'd like to improve: less expository. I can do expository well. I can talk off the top of my head. I think there needs to plenty of expository to provide the Spirit some wiggle room and get in there and mix things up and REALLY get through, past all the scripted junk. BUT...my thoughts and lessons need God's Word as credibility.

--I NEVER teach from notes. I'm used to knowing and being so familiar with my material that I can freely speak with knowledge and confidence and not worry a bit about notes. If I am going to have notes to use (just as a safety net or reference), I need to use simpler notes. I need the scripture in the order of the ideas I'm expressing.

--the rest of the worship team did a really great job of rolling with the punches tonight. Ron and the band sang and played well, covering mistakes and leading worship with no projector or words. I think Corey's testimony had slipped his mind for the week, but he wrangled his....unique...life story in and shared his salvation story. The skit this week was epic. Sure, random as hell, as always...but Brandon's keyboard skills and our rabbit and rabbit hunter's performances were...moving.

--I have a LOT to learn about speaking God's Word and managing a worship service (on the management end, mostly it's "How can I help you do what you do best, Ron/Kyle/Brandon/etc?"). I am, nevertheless, excited about learning it.

--thanks, Kirk, for taking a vacation for some quality time with the wife. I enjoyed and appreciate the opportunity.

One Verse Comes to Mind...

2008-07-16T09:19:00.003-04:00

...Luke 5:37-38

Okay, first things first--I'm making you a link for this pic for the sheer shock value of it and so you have time to consider the scriptural impact...kind of...so, first the verse...

...37 “And no one puts new wine into old wineskins; otherwise the new wine will burst the skins and it will be spilled out, and the skins will be ruined. 38 “But new wine must be put into fresh wineskins."

...and now the link.

1, 2, Ready, COMMENT!

Jedi Gym

2008-07-15T23:58:00.002-04:00

Kneel to the awesomeness of this video, for it is full of win.

Can I Get a Little...

2008-07-15T23:19:00.002-04:00

...prayer?

Tomorrow night is my first authentic "talk" at church. Ever.

So odd to be nervous about teaching, when I've never been nervous a single class period of my entire teaching career and not a single moment in my time with the Drum Major Academy (where I've gotten to teach and play with ~200 students). But I am. Nervous. I think in a scary way nervous...and in an excited way nervous.

I suppose I realize that this is the first measurable step I've taken toward doing what I feel like and I hope God is leading me toward. I suppose I realize that this isn't The Great Gatsby, paratactic syntax, conducting music, or how to clean a drill set. I suppose I realize that I'm stepping up to the plate and asking God to speak through me about His Word to others.

There's some scary crap God says will happen to irresponsible and false teachers--I've tried to pray and read and prepare. I don't believe that what I've been given to say is false. I certainly hope what comes out of my mouth is coming from my heart (that's where Jesus lives, despite rumors that He lives in my stomach and likes burritos).

Pray for me for Wednesday night. I'll be speaking to the Uprising youth group at Avalon Church. The subject: Connecting With God...in Relationships." The gist is essentially that God doesn't want us Christians to try to do the "Christian Thing" alone. We are meant to live in community and be responsible to and for each other. I feel like God's offered me lots to chew on and discuss. Here's to good analogies, meaningful, relevant stories, and candid-honest-real expression.

If you see me fussing over whether I'll do a good job or not after this post, smack me on the hand, dear inter-web small group. That means I'm relying on my use of my talents and skills, and that I'm not relying on Jesus.

In the end, I really think that this is what God is, and has been, calling me to do my whole life--talk to, entertain, and teach people. My skill set involves being in front of people and trying to capture their attention with intelligent, fun, and inspiring ideas. I'm looking forward to tomorrow, just as much as I'm nervous about it.

BARRAGE OBAMA!!!

2008-07-14T17:08:00.006-04:00

Several things, very fast, changing every moment...change you can believe in (though change I refuse to define or explain, so don't rely on it...just believe in it....).

What cool computer apps do you use? Kenny's gotten me onto a few in my life, and one of the new, terribly useful ones is www.netvibes.com. Have a look: it replaces your single site home page and provides a compact, cool looking jumping off page with links and pics and updated info from your bookmarked sites and widgets. So, again, answer me in the comments area: what cool computer sites, web-apps, or software do you use that makes you feel warm and happy?

Yes, Hellboy II did suck. I'm not even linking to the movie site because you might be drawn in by the evil spirits to see this dung. Not going to qualify my statements or defend my opinion. If this offends you and I lose you as a reader, that makes me sad...a little...maybe not...who knows...but I have to be me, and I'm charging myself with being honest with you: don't see Hellyboy II.

Currently reading Snipers: Profiles of the World's Deadliest Killers by some British writing duo, Craig Cabell and Richard Brown. Pretty entertaining--I'm sure "true history buffs"--by which I mean people who would knife your grandmother in her sleep over minor, quibbling minutiae you got wrong--probably have a field day with their reconstructions of legendary sniper tales of guys like Timothy Murphy (Revolutionary War "sniper) and the unknown dude who shot Lord Nelson at the Battle of Trafalgar.

Nonetheless, the authors aren't pretentious and they aren't piling on me a gigantic pile of firearm and ammunition details; they talk just enough about that so I have a working knowledge and understanding of why a particular sniper did such a great job.

Their poetic descriptions of headshots are vivid, medically plausible, and mesmerizingly grotesque, especially of a hypothetical moment in WWII when Nazi soldiers are huddled in the cold of Stalingrad and one of their pals is capped by Vassily Zaitsev.

They break down their study of the history and vocation of sniping into three basic elements: the sniper (and his psychology), the weaponry (the rifle, itself), and the tactics (how he gets done what very few others can). While Brown and Cabell clearly value the art of long shots and are appreciative of the talent and craft sniping requires; and while they glorify the killshots a little more than your middle school language arts teacher would like; they repeatedly like to remind the reader that sniping is killing--it's more intimate and troubling than tossing a hand grenade, spraying a building with fully automatic weaponry, or watching a building get leveled through the grainy monitor on your AC-130 a few miles up. When a sniper takes the shot, they have to see the eyes of their target--their human target--up close. They see him blink, his ruddy nose sniffle, his mouth widen in a grin when listening to a comrade, and finally, the pink, misty cloud of blood, brain matter, and skull fragments as the back of his head erupts from the force of the sniper round.

That last bit of imagery is mine, roughly based on some stuff I read in the book. Man...what a great read. I'm about halfway through and then I have to loan it to Kenny.

Tonight is D&D. Heskan, my dragonborn fighter will be pwning nubs. Stay away, unless you want kobold blood all over your pretty, trendy Hollister clothing.

Dude...I totally recommend you download a podcast or two from Perry Noble (Newspring Church, Anderson, SC). Funny, passionate, candid, and southern. His message, "God, Make Us Dangerous" has my brain melting a little.

For those of you who know him, Garret Donovan is NOT, I repeat, is NOT as dumb as he looks. I know, I know...smashingly, knee-weakening looks normally indicate a brainless person...but, much like myself (ahem!), Garret is brilliant. Go read his comment on my review of Blue Like Jazz. Spot on and eloquent.

Please welcome my friend Lisa to the blogosphere. Feel free to drop by and check out her goods...er...check out her good thoughts. Check her out.

Finally, a video I'm sure you all will enjoy. Over and over again. Even when you turn it off, you'll continue to enjoy it. You won't be able to stop enjoying it. No, if you continue to have enjoyment of the video for eight hours after initial enjoyment, it's not healthy. Please see your local emergency room physician as soon as possible.

Book Review: Blue Like Jazz

2008-07-13T14:58:00.004-04:00

So, it's a rainy Sunday afternoon and I have to be back to Avalon by five to discuss with Kirk this week's message (my first "authentic" talk at church) for the Uprising. I'm pretty pumped and my brain's been on a high-percolate setting.

So, naturally, I need to blog, which is much better than the mind-stupefying activity that is "grinding-levels-in-World-of-Warcraft."

Kenny and I stopped by Barnes and Noble the other day and he mentioned Donald Miller's book, Blue Like Jazz.

"I heard this is pretty good." As long as the cover hasn't got any pictures of fantasy swords, or if the title doesn't have a reference to "magician," "sorcerer," or "assasin," I take Kenny pretty seriously.

Miller's Blue Like Jazz is the confessional of a writer who was dead in the water. Often, he seems to feel like he's experienced deadness in faith--solitude, if you will. Honestly, who hasn't felt like they were all alone? Like God was at everyone else's party but mine?

Clearly a well-read and writer-educated writer, Miller lays down a heavy Great Gatsby / John Updike - esque foundation at the beginning. I'm not complaining. There is something plaintive, poetic, and lost in the introductory chapter, especially in his description of his dad.

It's subtitled as essentially non-religious thoughts on Christian spirituality. As I've been reading and observing and learning, I honestly feel like Christianity is in need of, and indeed, is going through a paradigm shift. Christians, as a corporate entity in America, have not only lost resolution in their vision of who Christ is, but they've failed largely to keep their hearts broken for non-Christians. The new church of the 21st century--pastors and church planters and regular, everyday Christians--need to desperately rejoin with Christ and His broken heart for the lost--this is a book that I've desperately needed to read (and I didn't even know it).

Miller's development as a Christian seems like the passage of a leaf blown in the wind, rather than a geometric, step by step process. He speaks of rough, poor, lost (truly lost--as in, I wandered around the country, living in the forest without any money and ended up in Portland...wandering), and troubled times. This is a man who claims to have very few snazzy, tidy answers. Throughout all of the conversations with people he's had in his life, related to us in the book, he is self-deprecating, open, candid, and unassuming.

His tales of brokenness, loss, wonder, drunkennes, stonedness, redemption, and learning demonstrate a man's untamed life guided by an untame God. This is a Christian's story, surrounded by people motivated not by money or personal glory, not for people interested in building up the name of a particular church or program or mission--the poeple populating Miller's story are dirty, liberal, intelligent, broken, talented, inspiring, conservative, flawed, and, in Miller's eyes, lovable. It is often through the salvation process of someone who seems diametrically opposed to Jesus that Miller is changed most--hello? Perhaps this is where Christians are really supposed to be "fed." Not sitting in the pews of their Sunday morning "service," but sitting on a couch, speaking with someone who is lost and believes they hate or don't need God (this "hello?" is an admonition to myself, by the way!).

I see a guy who in many ways, has yearned to receive the heart of Christ.

Through his largely autobiographical essays and stories, Miller develops his own personal revelation--a revelation that liberal and conservative, Christian and nonChristian can probably identify with: I say a lot about loving people and helping people, but in reality...where the rubber meets the road, I'm essentially useless and non-functioning.

As he develops, walking with Jesus, he shows us the flaws in focusing on culture as the measurement for Faith and Holiness. He shows us that Christianity isn't about what songs are on your mp3 player or how many camps or retreats you've been to. It's something much more challenging: Miller claims that Christianity isn't a meant to be a dialectical argument, menat for consumption by philosophers; it's not a perfect, clean experience; it's not convenient; it's not safe; it's not comfortable.

If I were to have any qualm with the book is that there is very little scripture-based commentary. While I'm confident that Miller reads his Bible and would identify it as the Word of God, much of the book is predicated on emotionality and mystic revelation and very little credit is provided to objective, reason (which, by the way, I believe God likes reason and objectivity and logic--he invented it). Miller doesn't, I believe, try to deny this, either. In fact, he outright claims to be a "mystic." I can't say I disagree. I can't say that, after reading his definition, I'm not a mystic either. How can you not be a mystic if you claim to believe that Jesus defied all that we know and understand about gravity, the molecular surface tension of water, the creation of matter in the universe, and the biological laws of life and death?

Nevertheless, the lover of logic and reason in me would have liked to have seen a bone tossed to scripture. I suppose that's why Miller candidly tells us before reading the book that his thoughts are "non-religious," i.e. not based off of stuff you'd learn at seminary.

This isn't a pleasant Chicken Soup for the Christian [insert sport / job / thing]. This isn't a Step by Step Read the Bible devotional. This probably won't really leave you dreaming of Angels and wanting to take the war to the Devil. In fact, I'm not sure what it will do to you.

In all honesty, what it's done for me is show me that a guy can be terribly flawed, broken, and guilty and come crawling back to Jesus--and it's okay.

As a lover of literature and storytelling, I enjoyed and identified with Miller's blending of personal quest with Christian introspection. While I find that much of Christian inspirational literature errs in providing too many easy and tidy little answers, Blue Like Jazz leaves with you a healthy sense of wonder, curiosity, and a bit of peace. Beyond that, I'm left with my own questions. After reflecting on Miller and God's walk with him, I can't help but reflect on what direction God is blowing this little leaf of mine.

I recommend this, especially those who've lived safe, calm, sheltered lives in the church (like me). There is a hungry, untamed world out there that Jesus loves and desires. Pick up Blue Like Jazz.

Quasi-Intemperate and Ten Thoughts Being Chewed On In My Brain...

2008-07-13T13:55:00.005-04:00

There we go. The longest titled post in my blog thus far.

...I've only been quasi-intemperate, lately. I don't believe I've pushed my personal envelope of intemperance in the blogosphere lately.

So, in the name of intemperance, before sharing some random thoughts on Jesus and leadership, I shall tell an intemperate joke or two:

Q: What was Hellen Keller's favorite color?
A: (highlight the invisible text) Courdoroy

A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden. "Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British." "Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French.""No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. They are Russian."

Hmm...those are pretty tame. Perhaps I should make fun of those people who handle snakes in church or think they really do need to buy a Kirby vaccum cleaner. Maybe later...

Alright...time for a random thought or two:

Non-Christians won't learn that Jesus loves them until Christians love them.

God doesn't reveal information to you until you're ready to act on it.

More than sacrifice, than getting your masters in divinity, than tithing, than going to church, than going on a missions trip to China or Botswana...God wants your love. "But the Bible says obedience is more important than sacrifice!" Yeah...what do you think it looks like when you show your dad love? You obey him...

Never let guilt over not reading your Bible or praying keep you from returning to those things.

Stop looking for the magical moment of mystical, earth-shattering revelation when you read or pray--not that it can't or won't happen, but God would rather be Father, than David Copperfield. He'd love for you to get to know Him through consistent prayer and reading, rather than intermittent shows of magic (i.e. rearranging the letters on a billboard to tell you yes, indeed, I want you to do such and such a thing). Miraculous actions and communication by God often bring Him glory and renown, but they aren't the foundation of the sort of relationship He wants with you.

God won't listen to your prayer if you're unkind and unloving to your wife. What Bible verse is that? It's there...go look for it!

We glorify and share with others what we love most.

If the church is the body of Christ, the world sure hears a lot from His butthole. Can we try to get the helping hands or the kind face better represented to the non-Christians in our lives?

I need to be the church for my wife and daughter(s) before Avalon is. Avalon is where we serve other Christians and non-Christians--but my first church is my family.

God wants me to tell Him what I want and how I feel--not because He doesn't know, but in saying it out loud and sharing it, I move out of the realm of unspoken, vague and cloudy feelings to a real and honest, unlying place where I give things up to God. Basically, if I don't say it and admit it to God, then it's like I'm convincing myself that I can hide it from Him and ignore it. Think of the toddler who thinks that if he covers his face with his hands, then his dad can't see him. Of course Dad can see him!

I'm Allowing...

2008-07-12T10:00:00.002-04:00

...comments from non-Blogger subscribers. So, for all you nubs out there who aren't members and are too lazy to set up a crappy fake account, you can now post comments.

I want your comments, g'dangit!

My Christmas Present...

2008-07-11T00:25:00.001-04:00

...this year will be a little girl.

Molly Deborah Ford.

I'll never be able to afford a Lamborghini if I have to pay for TWO weddings.

Pray for my wife (a healthy pregnancy--we don't want another bed rest trimester).

Pray for my fetus to stay healthy and crawl out of that ole' womb there safe and sound.

Pray for Maggie that she'll know that her baby sister isn't supposed to be fed crayons, turpentine, and/or belly button lint.

Pray for me that I won't be entirely drowned in the pool of estrogen that will be my house...and that I won't have to destroy a future daughter's boyfriend.

Soooo Much...

2008-07-10T23:44:00.001-04:00

...to say.

It's late at night...or...just 11:44 PM and it feels late because I'm still sleep deprived from teaching at DMA for the last five days and I have a moronic combination of beer and coffee in my blood stream at the moment...and I've stared, comatose, at World of Warcraft for two hours without blinking.

Suffice it to say, I've got stuff to say, just not a lot of motivation to get to it at the moment.

I plan to see Hellboy II with Kenny tomorrow; never saw the first one (because it looked uninteresting), but I'm looking forward to this one (because it looks very interesting). The visuals are stunning--here's hoping the story and the and characters are worth something.

I've been listening a lot to Marc Driscoll and watching his youtube posts--the guy pulls no punches and speaks with a.) the kind of authority most pastors wish they had and b.) the kind of authority most pastors aren't ready to receive.

What are your thoughts on Flickr? Kenny and a few others are fans of it. I just don't see a lot of use for it, unless you are a.) stuck at a computer all day and have to keep in touch with people (that neurotically and that often) via mainly the internet b.) wear a lot of wi-fi wearable tech and keep in touch with people via mainly the internet or c.) are nuerotically in need of knowing what someone is doing every few minutes of the day (which describes a few ex-girlfriends, a friend's mom's attitude toward him, and the NSA).

I always have the sneaking suspicion that I don't take full advantage of the cool options on my cell phone, my mp3 player, my email, and Blogger. What cool things can I do that I'm not doing already?

I finally checked Facebook for like, the first freaking time in an assload of ages. Several people from high school found me and asked to be friends. If any of you old friends are reading (now that I shamelessly asked you to come here and read), what the hell are you doing, spending even a nanosecond of your valuable life thinking of Matt Ford, some oddity from high school? Wait...forget I questioned it. I'm flattered. Welcome to my blog and thanks for being a friend again, even if it is only over the interweb.

Finally...Jesus has been chewing on my brain a lot lately--and my heart. Thins are looking pretty confusing and scary, especially if I'm looking in the direction He wants me to look. Confusion can be pretty healthy, since it leads to curiosity, searching, praying, faith, and revelation. As always, pray for me. Pretty vague prayer request for those of you who aren't intimately acquainted with me in real life, but just a quick PPC (prayer post card) to God would be helpful.

Thanks, doodz.

What Is God's Will...

2008-06-30T17:40:00.000-04:00

...and how do I know it's Him talking and not just me?

Man, this is what's been chewing my brain up for weeks now. I mentioned a while back that I'd listened to a podcast by Andy Stanley of North Point Church and that I'd pass on to you what I found so moving and compelling about what I found God saying to me through him.

Warning: this is a longer blog post, but I really think it's worth it.

God's drop-kicking people's brains and hearts through speakers like Andy Stanley--and I think it's great that we can pass on and share God's Word and what He's laying on our hearts to others. We talked a bit about this material this past week at the high school small group at Avalon.

So...my notes based off of "Finding God's Will: Part 1" from Andy Stanley.

**************************************

As Christians, we learn the language of Christians: "Blood of Jesus," "Dedicating my life to God," "Called to ministry or missions," etc.

One thing we often hear Christians say is that we just want to know "God's will." What does that mean, what does that look like, and how do we really find out what God's will is?

"Will" is essentially God's wishes or plans. What God wants. In the Bible, you can find three basic categories of God's "will."

1. God's Providential Will: this is what God wants and will do, regardless of your faith, your prayers, or your desires. For example, God's decided that, PROVIDENTIALLY, He was going to create the Heavens and the Earth. He didn't take a vote. He didn't need us to pray for it to happen. Some things, God simply says, "Hey. I'm going to make such-and-such a thing happen.

2. God's Moral Will: this is the general behavior and mentality God wants you to have as you live your life. Again, you don't really have to pray much about what God wants you to do here. He lays it out in the Bible, for the most part, and you don't really need to pray, "God, should I cheat on my test? I just want to know your will, God. Please tell me." You already know, or can easily find out what God's will is there.

3. God's Personal Will for Your Life: THIS is the one we're interested in because it's the plan for what we think will create some sort of magical Christian lifestyle of harmony, success, holiness, and zen-like Oneness with God. Let's break this one down:

a. This will look very different from person to person.
b. God probably won't reveal to you His Personal Will for Your Life without your being acquainted with His Providential and Moral Will. Chances are, if you don't know God and His character and His ideas on how a Christian should lead his life in a general way, you're unprepared and won't understand /accept God's Personal Way--it won't make sense to you.
c. God doesn't reveal His will for your life just so you can consider it. He's not offering you an OPTION--He's offering you His WILL. If you aren't broken or lost enough to commit to action on God's Personal Will, you're not ready to receive it, likely enough.
d. God probably won't (read "HIGHLY UNLIKELY") reveal His Personal Will regarding your question through an audible voice, lightning from the sky, or some cryptic vision given to you through some rearrangement of letters on a billboard. You'd probably pay more attention to the wonder of it, than the actual message--God wants to draw you close and get you to listen to Him--that's why the Holy Spirit is often described as a "still, small voice."
e. Hey, I'm not saying God won't or can't shout, but just like your own Earthly Father, He'd much rather get through to you without having to shout.

In working out what God's Personal Will for you, you need to pray, read your Bible, and go to church...become friends with and close to other Christians. God will reveal Himself to you through those channels.

What's most important to God, however, is not that you are doing a THING or executing a PLAN, even if it's in His name. God told David that he couldn't build the temple, even though David was ready, willing, and able. God's not interested in the things you can do for Him nearly as much as the relationship He has to offer you.

Essentially, God loves it when you are lost, broken, and in need of answers, because in that time of need, you pray more, listen more, spend more time in the word than you do when you're comfortable--and THAT'S when God really gets your undivided attention.

A friend of mine put it this way, "Love God more than anything else. Make Him your first priority. If you do that, you can probably do whatever you want, because by then, God will have aligned your desires with His."

Questions and Verses for Consideration:

1. What's an example of God's Providential Will (i.e. What has He promised to do, no matter what)?

2. What's an example of God's Moral Will (i.e. What are some of God's general thoughts on how Christians should behave and act)?

3. What is an area in your life where you know you need to seek God's Personal Will for you?

4. What steps do you need to take in order to be prepared for God to show you His will for your life?

The Most Aweseomest...

2008-06-30T08:29:00.000-04:00

...video...EVAR.

This is the kind of movie I've always wanted to make at UGHS. Freaking terrific. Inspired. I especially love the guy bleeding styrofoam peanuts. And the sniper with the white-sheet ghilley suit.

Truly face-melting.

I'm Back...

2008-06-27T15:11:00.000-04:00

...and there's SO much to say!

I've just been relaxing the last two days of being home. Getting over jet lag, hugging-kissing-playing with my toddler, hugging-kissing-"playing" with my wife, and chilling out with my best friends.

I'll have some pics / videos from Ireland and England up here over the weekend, so keep an eye out.

The only real work I've done has been catching up on some podcasts and blog-reading, which leads to this prayer request:

Please pray for me. In fact, not just for me, but for two of my friends, as well. We are all three suddenly searching and praying for God to give us a vision for what our vocations should look like. We want to do something that resonates with more eternal and spiritual meaning than what we're doing now. None of us feel like we are employed to use our skillsets to God's greatest efficiency.

Pray that God prepares us for the vision and plan for our professional lives to make a difference in the lives of Christians and the unchurched.

Thanks.

Hey...is there anything I can talk to God about for you?

I'm Off...

2008-06-16T12:47:00.001-04:00

...to Dublin and London for about 9 days. I'll be back on the 24th.

I'll miss you--most of all my Shannon and Maggie. Please pray for our safety (both myself and my group traveling, and my wife and baby girl) and that we'll have the most excellent time we've been hoping for!

I'll try to get plenty of video clips off my new Flip-Camera! :)

Love you all, pray and read Jesus' book. I'll drink a pint for you!

A Few...

2008-06-15T21:48:00.000-04:00

...pics! Here's Charles Byrd (Kuh-KAWWW!!!) giving a nifty talk to the Avalon middle school group, The Resistance. The message was on bearing "fruit." You have NO idea how hard it was for me to keep from quoting the little ditty about beans being the musical fruit...

If you look closely to the right of Charles' feet, on the floor, you'll observe the evidence of one of our doodz who blew chunks during a Coca-cola-chugging game we played.

Rad.

Did anyone puke for Jesus at your church today?

Happy Male Parental Unit's Day!

2008-06-15T07:21:00.000-04:00

The first gift my daughter was actually able to participate in creating--love it. Looking forward to next year's, too, since I could have sworn I saw a glass-blowing crafting set brochure in her nursery (Dad's got his fingers crossed for a set of totally funky lager glasses and frosty mugs).

Happy F-Day, you guys (which is my way of universally wishing everyone a good day, depending on what the "F" means to you.)!

Finally, happy Father's Day to my own Dad, who's taught me so much by his example--generosity, hard work, and honesty. I love you, Dad.

My Favorite Things...

2008-06-14T19:49:00.000-04:00

...well...at least a few of them.

Potpourri...

2008-06-14T16:04:00.000-04:00

...this guy needs to get his slow-moving arse in gear. If you haven't checked out the Fire and Ice series, it's the fantasy series for non-fantasy readers. Very historiographical (not a word) and he isn't afraid to kill of a beloved character. Oh, and not every character has gray eyes and lacks memory of his childhood and has been watched over for as long as he can remember by his strange uncle whose name is some derivation of Zeddicus.

...If you like metal and fantasy, try Blind Guardian, a fantasy-metal band. They melt my face.

...my latest work with Adobe After Effects. Based off the intro video and tutorial from Andrew Kramer's amazing, awesome, terrific, and inspiring site.

...I'll post sometime tonight about one of the most informative, thought and heart provoking messages I've heard in a long time. I confess, I'm a newb when it comes to my exposure to Christian speakers (also known as "pastors"). Until recently, Louie Giglio was The Man. Well, I think he still is, but no wonder people also respect and go nuts over what Andy Stanley has to say. Suffice it to say, I've been praying for direction from God lately, and I think He knew EXACTLY which podcast I needed to hear.

Training Them Young...

2008-06-14T15:52:00.000-04:00

...the next generation of couch potatoes.

OMG...

2008-06-13T17:02:00.001-04:00

...okay, so I won't get all political with this blog.

But, as a Christian, I have to look at the world around me and try to take stock of things. To say that things are looking up or that things are going to Hell in a hand basket, I need information.

This article, if the facts are true--or even close to true, and many of them, regarding America, appear rather self-evident from my own observation of our nation--we may be on the cusp of a world-wide upheaval.

In ancient times--hell, even up to as late as WWI--world-wide upheaval didn't really affect the entire actual world, only the known, influential world that went on to write history books. For example, when the Roman Empire finally died, Japanese, south African, and South American people didn't blink or even know.

But with such a shrunken, globally connected world, with sooooo much integration, commerce, and communication, the next World War will affect directly every nation on the planet.

I think a lot of what the provided article has to show us could be amazing and exciting--revolution of the youth in Georgia and the Ukraine toward a newer, more modern democratic republic or capitalistic society would be outstanding. If the average Joe in China (what's the Chinese equivalent of "average Joe?" The average Chin? Liu?) succeeds in expecting more his government than what Communism can offer, it may very well be painful, but in the long run, I hope and believe, better.

Regardless, I lack the information and clairvoyance to understand and predict where we're headed (sheesh, I have no idea what I'll be doing for a living in a year from now...for real). What I do know is that Christians need to pray. Not for any political or national victory. Not for victory in war. Not even for Christians to have more babies so we can outbreed our "enemies."

We need to pray that in our ever-more foggy future, that Jesus' name is brought renown. God's got a plan, God's got a church, and we want to be in it. In our own community, we need to be praying that Jesus gets a voice that becomes the voice of a community--not to further a political agenda, not to keep people from getting to gamble, not to close down stores that sell dildos, not to protest liquor stores and funerals for homosexuals. Jesus needs a louder, clearer voice to broadcast God's glory, God's message.

What's the word?

Love. Repent of being not Muslim or a pervert or a Republican or a drunk or an abuser or a liar or a Jew. Repent...just realize that your not perfect, no matter what you are.

Accept Jesus' love. Doesn't make you perfect on Earth, but it makes you perfect in God's eyes.

With Jesus' love, the Bible tells us all things are possible--that includes people loving each other, which seems so difficult to get to happen these days.

Whoa...

2008-06-12T09:11:00.001-04:00

...where has the time gone? It's been a full week since I last posted!

Some cool things have been going on--it's a personal pride, I guess, which can be a bit dangerous, that I've been working, useful, and busy the last week or so, despite being on summer "vacation."

So, rather than focusing on what I've been doing, I'll tell you about what I've been involved in, since there are other people doing important, useful, cool things.

--we've been building a green screen video lab at Community Bible Church. My best friend Kenny (and my two other friends, Jordan and Matt) operate the computer/technology department for the church and Community Christian School and they offered to let me come help make the green screen room, an area of video tech that I'm really interested in. They've also been letting me fool around on the video editing computer because it has Adobe CS3, which is a terribly secksy program.

--Avalon youth ministry has had a really great week. We started our small groups for the high schoolers (The Uprising), and while small at the moment, I'm praying that God gives me a vision for what He wants the Uprising small groups to look like and accomplish.

--The Uprising outreach service had a lot of visitors and long-lost members show up last night--the energy was much higher last night. We had a totally sweet movie trivia game (hosted by yours truly) and a pretty funny skit by our skit team. Kirk's talk was right-on, as they usually are. He's got a talent for telling people what the Bible says without crapping on them. I've been around so many people who can take ANY verse in the Bible and translate it into the same message over and over: "You suck, God doesn't like you, neither do I, and we won't until you look and talk like me." Not so with my friend, Kirk. The dude doesn't hesitate to challenge, but there is always the underlying concept that, regardless of where you are or have been, Jesus loves you and wants you.

--The Resistance, our middle school ministry, is chugging right along. It looks like our small groups are getting more cohesive. Oh...and by the way, ask and ye shall receive. We've been praying for more small group leaders and have had five new adult faces show up in the last month, looking to plug in. Woot! They've been so positive and enthusiastic about helping, teaching, and loving our kids.

--idea for a tee-shirt: Black 100% cotton tee; simple block type font; "God Melts My Face."

--Maggie's been learning a lot--and apparently listening very closely to what Shannon says. She wouldn't let me lie down in her bed last night to read her a story until I took my socks off. "Why, Maggie? Why do I have to take my socks off?" My sweet little monkey child looks up at me, puts her finger on her chin, smiles impishly, and says, "'Cause they're dirty."

--my fetus (currently inhabiting my wife's womb) is apparently a little larger than a lemon. When I get home from England in two weeks, we'll go get an ultrasound and find out if we're having a Wyatt (cross your fingers) or a Molly (that'd be fine with me, too).

A few blog/random links:

Los' video today. If you haven't seen the Pausch video or read the book, I suggest you do. Excellent, thought-provoking stuff. Material like this always makes me feel like I when I watch a Rocky training montage.

My current project (just for fun). No one asked me to make this and I don't expect anyone to use it, but I'm really enjoying screwing around in After Effects. SUCH a powerful artistic tool. The actual Quicktime video is 42 mb, and has crisp resolution, but uploading to youtube drops the video quality. It could use some music / sound effects...and a longer logo at the end, with a fade-out. I'll keep working on it.

Kirk's brother, Chad, has a blog and I didn't know. I'll put it up on my links list to the right. He's very talented with AF and has made some totally sick graphics for Avalon. He's a snazzy guy, too.

I'm not a fast talker--no, I know anyone who knows me IRL (in real life) is shouting, "YOU LIE, MATT FORD!" but I'm not a fast-talker. I talk fast, sure, but I often have difficulty figuring out why I think what I do and expressing it immediately in succinct, clear, and persuasive terms. Which is why I wish more managers and bosses would read and understand this post.

LoL Bruce Campbell's Tomato Soup

ZOMG MacGuyver cures deafness!

Harry Potter opens the egg...

Marathon post, I know...but I had some free time. :)

Sadly...

2008-06-06T00:58:00.000-04:00

...my spiritual gifts and skillset hint to me every day that I should be doing a job like the host of this show...more sadly, I'm not sure there is a job in ministry for someone whose main gift is biting sarcasm.

I'm afraid I'm too much like this guy, having fun with this poor lady. The post below this one makes me really sad about my face. /lol

...how is anyone friends with me?

*snagged from Los.

Speaking Of...

2008-06-06T00:20:00.000-04:00

...the members of our body that we'd rather not hear from...

...I'm working and praying and having faith that God will grow me into a man who can help Him undo some of the damage many Christians have done to the faith over the years.

It will happen one person at a time, but if we all work together, we can make a huge difference in the lives of people around us; we can get people to see that a church like the one in Acts 2--one filled with the Holy Spirit, sharing, helping, celebrating, and being excited about Jesus and love--is worth having around; that sort of church is worth investigating and learning about.

Weird. Acts 2 says that the first Christians "enjoyed the favor of all the people." I have to LoL at that. Not an incredulous LoL--a "I have to laugh, else I might cry" sort of LoL.

Enjoy the favor of the people? Not just the "people," but..."all" the people.

Look, we modern dudes can't get all the CHRISTIANS in one freaking building in favor with each other very often--and the people of the city in general favored these dudes.

I really doubt Christians back then had websites where they whigged out about how much God hates fags (He doesn't--He loves them); I don't think they had a horrendously large, politically active association of Christians spending millions of dollars and bickering over bi-laws and internal association-presidential elections (while people starved, froze in the cold, or had no Christmas presents...yes, I know they weren't celebrating Christmas back in Peter's time...work with my hyperbole); I totally don't think the Acts 2 church sent squads of followers out to the funerals of Roman soldiers to cheer on their death, chant, mock the mourners, and hold up placards with hateful, ignorant messages.

God's got a lifetime...check that...an eternity of growing me up to do; at the moment, I really believe that following Him means I'm helpful, friendly, fair, loving, and merciful--meek, even.

Rather than talking of God's anger (yeah, He gets angry, and I don't ignore that), I'll choose to bring the good news Jesus sent me out to provide. The good news is not "God hates idolators, teachers of evolution, liberals, and perverts."

It's more like, "God loves every single person, no matter how ugly and disgusting their lives have been--He wants your affection and praise, no matter what you've done or said. You can't ever go too far. When you walk up to God to ask Him yourself if He loves you, He'll never show you the face of a judgmental, angry, estranged God."

Actually, that last sentence can be untrue quite often...sadly enough. If Christians are the face of God on the Earth, too often non-Christians come asking us (in a variety of ways) if God really does love them--and all too often they are shown a judgmental, angry, estranged face.

We've got to fix our faces, dudes. I'm starting with mine...Psalm 34:5 says that if I look at God, my face will glow...er..."look radiant." How radiant do Christians look these days? How radiant do I look?

Don't answer. I already know. /le sigh

We can do better--check that--we can let Jesus do better through us. I want His name written on my face. On yours. On theirs. If we want these faces to shine for Jesus--to shine so the world may see--we're going to have to look at Him a LOT more than we have been.

I Roll My Eyes...

2008-06-03T18:56:00.000-04:00

...at my fellow Christians a LOT of the time.

Seriously, if the church is the body of Christ, I think the world hears from our butthole more often than from the encouraging mouth or the helping hands.

/sad panda

*ganked from Los' Blog

I Finally Have Permission...

2008-06-02T20:27:00.000-04:00

...to annoy people as my duty!

No less....from a feminist!

woot!

Triumph!!!

2008-06-02T19:36:00.000-04:00

This may be the funniest dog in the world...ever.

Prepare yourself with a fresh diaper--you will wet yourself.

Random Thoughts On the First Day of Summer...

2008-06-02T16:29:00.000-04:00

...well, actually, it was the first day of summer on Saturday, but I spent it teaching band leadership stuff to some kids. Very fun--makes me think of the sort of thing I want to do for a living--talking about stuff that makes a difference in people's lives--that is, serving and helping and inspiring people to be their best.

...Iron Man melted my face. Excellent graphics. ILM did a better job for John Favreaueueueueueueueueueu than they did for George Lucas--it's very difficult to tell which shots are entirely computer generated and which are composite and which are "real." Robert Downey Jr: = teh awesome. Perfect roll for him, especially considering his real life past, personality, and reputation. Even more astounding was the human performance of Gwyneth Paltrow. I'm not a fan of her at all, but I loved her in this movie. Can't wait to see the sequel with Terrance Howard in the silver "unfinished" suit.

...I love my church, the youth, and the group leaders that volunteer for the kids.

...watched Pasion of the Christ last night; first time seeing it since the theaters. Gotta say that this was a well made, terribly difficult movie to watch. It allows me to realize, viscerally and literally, that Jesus was a man of flesh and blood, with fear, pain, desolate feelings, despair, and loneliness in his final hours. The fact that He paid that and loved even those who drove the spikes home--that He raised the traitorous Peter to be the leader of His church--wow! Doesn't matter what you do or say, Jesus wants you. He's already paid for you, bought you with His blood and His very life. To think...the only thing He wanted for this price was our recognition of His love.

...going to Ireland and England soon. I can't wait. Hope my passport gets here in time. I paid extra to have it expedited, but not sure of its current status. Might have to buy someone off or kill someone off.

...please pray for my wife. She's dealing with some really ratty managers and jerks at her job. It's been God's intervention that I haven't been there for some of these interactions. Not only would I be asking God and those folks for forgiveness, I'd have to call one of you for bail money. :(

...love you, guys. Thanks for reading. Maybe I'll get some interesting stuff up here soon, rather than just a semi-daily journal.

Inner Dialogue...

2008-05-29T17:25:00.000-04:00

...posted to the web.

I'll be fleshing out my thoughts on my blog for a while here, at least, regarding the process I'm going through--that is, trying to figure out if I want to remain a high school English teacher, or find something else to do.

Feel free to provide feedback, but don't be offended if I don't comment on your comments. If I do, I'll probably email you. Otherwise, I'm trying to let people respond to me on my blog without much risk / pressure.

Anyhow, you'll see me waffle, think aloud, say some stupid, misguided, or confused sounding things--that's me, right now. All of the above. About as retarded as Hellen Keller in a sharp shooting contest.

So...anyone know any professions where I can talk, say things that I find important, get paid to learn and read and create a blog, make some phone calls, think of interesting things to get people to do, talk about Jesus, do what I can to help people live better lives, and be up in front of an audience a lot to entertain them and offer cool thoughts?

Good Day...

2008-05-27T23:12:00.000-04:00

...a looooong day.

Some highlights:

--the last full day of regular school this year; phew...it's been quite a year!

--had a really tasty and filling dinner with Shannon and Maggie at Shane's Rib Shack; I've totally grown to love their hot sauce--opens up my sinuses!

--my final organizational meeting for the Ireland/England tour I'm leading this summer ran much longer than expected, but was more fruitful, as well. I'm learning WAY more that will help me prepare for any future trips I take.

--played a nifty card game with my doodz at Kenny's office. I think the table-top gaming industry has tapped our Ventrilo, cell phones, and emails, because there are now several card games that are: a.) really quirky b.) somewhat sophomoric c.) intensely geeky d.) require a great sense of strategy e.) teach you to REALLY screw over your best friends, just as they are about to win and f.) did I say intensely geeky?

--had a long, excellent, and crystalizing convo with Kenny; there are friends God provides you for all sorts of things--there's nothing like having someone you trust to talk openly with and you know they'll construe and understand you to be trying to be your most candid and honest.

--some interesting, thought provoking, scary, and exciting times in my life these days; if you're interested, I'll keep you posted...in fact, if you aren't, I'll keep you posted. If you aren't interested, why are you still reading?!!!

Filipino Soulja Boy

2008-05-26T10:58:00.000-04:00

If I were a missionary to a different country, I think that a good idea, along with bringing them food and medicine and Jesus, would be to teach them the wicked dance moves that our culture has to offer.

If I'm Going to Keep This Up...

2008-05-26T10:37:00.000-04:00

...I'm going to have to take a long, hard look at this.

In asking for heart-life change, keeping up a blog has been a project/product/habit I'd like to develop.

I've been praying over the youth ministry at Avalon, as well as for Kirk, Charles, and my best friend, Kenny. I hadn't thought to pray over my blog, since, as of now, I've only got like...three people who read this intermittently (I'm counting way back three years ago when I had another blog someplace else).

So, if you're the praying sort and want to pray for me, I'd appreciate your thoughts and prayers on my blog.

Connecting would be a big desire I have for this thing.

What do you think? What are some blogs you read (or wish you read) on a regular basis? What makes them so provocative, so interesting, so addictive?

WTB...

2008-05-25T20:04:00.001-04:00

(Want To Buy)

...a broken heart.

I've been in the church all my life (with the exception of my sorry excuse for "wild times," consisting ofthree years of not going to church and drinking too many wine coolers [so ghey...] and engaging in one or two forays into awkward premarital sex), so coming by awe and inspiriation and fire and passion for Jesus seems pretty tough sometimes.

If you, a friend, are reading this and you pray--pray that God will impart to me even a small portion of the love He has for me. I just want to fall in love with God.

I've been praying for some sort of life change--ministry? speaking? teaching? Something besides public education? No idea. But I know it's exciting and scary to contemplate, mostly because I'm praying for something new and possibly insecure and unstable, which means I'd have to rely on God more.

So, if I want to rely on God, I want to love Him. If I want to rely on Him more, I want to love Him more. I also want to love Him because I can rely on Him.

It's not my birth-nature to love God. I love me. I get nowhere loving me. I can go anywhere loving God.

I love you, friends. I know God loves you...and I know He loves me. I just really, really, really want to learn to love Him.

...that's all He really wants for me, anyhow.

Sleeping In...

2008-05-24T09:59:00.000-04:00

Ugh.

I don't sleep in often and I'm reminded why, this Saturday morning.

My back and neck are killing me.

The sunlight isn't slanting across my office in glorious beam-like fashion.

The good early morning news isn't on.

I can't get any pvp honor points in WoW because since by now, all the moronic Alliance teeny-boppers have awoken and signed on (spastically hitting all shiny objects and not employing strategy and team work to win).

Said nifty slanting light from the sun is not slanting and therefore isn't highlighting the altogether Foldger's-esque vapor whisps rising from my coffee cup.

I lost a good three hours of my Saturday to being oblivious.

Not like I get up at the butt-crack of dawn to get out there and mend the fences, feed the chickens, run seven miles, plow the back forty, and read the newspaper...but I do like to be awake and aware for three hours more of my one, truly free day of the week.

I like sleep, just like anyone else, but I don't want to sleep my life away. I'll get enough rest once I'm dead.

Time to get going--meeting Kenny for Waffle House and then Iron Man (yes, 2-3 weeks late seeing it).

I Want to Kick...

2008-05-23T16:51:00.000-04:00

…ass. There. I’ll go ahead and say it. Ass.

I say I want to kick ass on a Christian blog (intemperate though it may be) because saying “I want to kick butt,” while more polite or inoffensive to people’s sensitivities regarding vulgarity is…

…weak.

…puny.

I say “kick ass” because I intensely mean it. I want to kick it hard, enthusiastically, and in a way that changes not only myself, but those around me.

I don’t want to kick ass in a bad way, but in a good way. I want to melt face. I want to rock out. I want to be great at something.

Furthermore, I want you to kick ass. In a good way. Hard, enthusiastically, and life-changingly.

That’s why I teach. That’s why I like to talk in front of people and sort of perform for them. It’s true, I want to do an awesome job of teaching, telling stories, and providing information—but in doing so, I’m trying to offer my audience—my students—a way to consider their problems and their strengths in such a way that they realize the immense amount of hope and opportunity ahead of them.

I believe Man, while in fallen state and sinful, is capable of amazing things because of the Power God imbues him with. I believe God built you to kick ass in your own way. He didn’t build you to be mediocre, especially not in the area of your talents and skillset. He’s not looking for people made of margarine. He doesn’t want Diet Human Beings. He wants full-on caffienated, full of flavor, overflowing with soul Humans. People who are the antithesis of Splenda (c’mon, folks…it’s a substitute for good tasting sugar; do not try to convince me that it tastes the same or as good as sugar).

God wants people. He wants men and women. He knows just how imperfect you are, but not only does He love you, nonetheless, He wants to build you up to a great purpose. What do all the products in the paragraph above have in common? While they’re great, they also have their drawbacks, their inherent health risks.

The greatest health risk to Mankind today is Mankind. By the way, the greatest cure and preventative of spiritual death brought on by the horrendous scourge of Mankind is…

…Jesus, employed, enjoyed, and demonstrated by imperfect Mankind.

Back to teaching—I want to kick ass. I want to kick ass so you can kick ass. I think Jesus kicked ass (in His own, very holy and spiritual and glorious way). God, in His infinite wisdom and very poignant timing, has kicked my ass quite often in life.

How to learn to do this “ass kicking” of which I speak?

Learn. Do. Teach.

Learn, better yourself, equip yourself, arm yourself with knowledge.

Do, act, practice, try, fail, get back up, rub some dirt on it, fix the failures, try again.

Teach, help, assist, show, instruct, encourage others who are in the midst of their own trying, prepare for those who are just now starting to learn.

I’m sold out on the idea that we’re all teachers. I suck at some stuff. You rule at some stuff. It’d be great to get together so you can show me and guide me and encourage me in an area I don’t kick ass in. I’d love to do the same for you.

…rather than pulling each other down because your/my pastor has tattoos, we/you wear jeans and listen to rock music at your/my church, and you/I swear or say “sucks” or watch/read secular television/movies/books.

We all have something to learn…
…so that we can kick ass.

I’d Compliment Him, But…

2008-05-22T22:42:00.001-04:00

“…but I’m afraid he’d get a big head.”

That’s a lame excuse to not focus on and compliment someone on his strong areas. Trust me, everybody, including those who strut around thinking they’re all that and a bag of chips, knows they have weaknesses. Most people are insecure in some way. In fact, I’d bet that most often, the braggart is bragging because he’s insecure. He’s got to publicize just how awesome he hopes people think he is.

So…what? You’re going to be an encouraging Christian, a great leader, empowering others, mirroring the love of Christ, improving the performance of those around you…by making someone who could be freaking amazing in a particular area more insecure because they’re already insecure enough to be a swaggering braggart?

You know what really gives people “big heads?” Complimenting them on something they’re not good at. When you flatter people (aka lie to them to make them believe they possess some talent or asset they don’t actually possess), they get an inflated, or false sense of accomplishment, which creates what we think of as a “big head.”

When I work with my peers or with high schoolers, and they complain about how hard it is to get along with So-and-so, I suggest they buy that guy a Coke, smile at him, and find something authentic to compliment him on—then they’ll see if he’s really all that hard to get along with. Often, So-and-so is hard to get along with because we treat him like he’s hard to get along with.

Compliment him? Am I crazy? That jerk already has a big head as it is! I think anyone who’s afraid to pay someone else a compliment for any reason is the one with ego problems.

And what if someone is actually a sour-puss and is hard to get along with? Are we going to make it a more pleasurable working environment by labeling and treating So-and-so like a jerk?

What? Are we really, actually content to: not help him become likeable, treat him like he’s a jerk, complain about how jerky he is, and hope the jerk finally leaves so this place will finally be bearable?

That’s about as retarded as electing Hellen Keller to drive for your carpool.

If you have any hope of making your environment bearable with So-and-so around, it looks like you’re the one who needs an attitude adjustment. Again, buy him a Coke, smile at him, and find something to authentically compliment him on. I’ve yet to meet anyone (though I’m sure there’s someone who can prove me wrong) who stays a jerk to me when I treat them nice—especially when they’ve been outrageously jerksome.

The whole “more flies with honey” thing totally applies. I’ve gotten way more free drinks from grumpy waitresses than from the already-in-a-good-mood waitresses (hint: make someone’s day better by treating them awesome, and they’ll pay you back in kind).

What’s more, I’ve become more useful as a leader, often because I’m the only one who invested myself in So-and-so, the jerk. I’m the only one who can get him to do something because he trusts me and likes me for some weird reason.

Maybe because I’m the only one who doesn’t treat him like a jerk!

Believe me, I’m not perfect in this way (or any other way) and I’ve regretted many times before irreparably losing what could have been a future ally.

…oh yeah…and treating people nice is Biblical, not just pragmatic.

A list of verses where we’re commanded to love and treat one another in neighborliness:

Ephesians 4:2 Hebrews 10:24 1 Peter 3:8 John 13:34
Last thought: you are commanded by the Bible to love one another. That doesn’t mean you have to be best buddies with everyone. Some people are just a little hard to get along with than others. So-and-so might just be that rare jerk that’s a jerk no matter what. Fine. Love him from far away. Treat him kindly and patiently in the interactions you have to have with him and still buy him a coke every now and then. If he’s a jerk to you, no skin off your nose.

I Swear...

2008-05-20T22:12:00.000-04:00

I cuss.

I do and I think I should.

I teach English and I LOVE language. I'm not a grammar-phile, or anything, but I love the versatility and multiplicitous quality of phrase and meaning.

That love extends even to low down, dirty vulgar words.

A few things upon which my proclivity towards cursing is predicated:

1. swear words carry extreme emotional weight
2. swear words are meant to be used when you mean to voice extreme emotional weight
3. swear words are weakened and therefore cheapened when overused for less than extreme emotional content
4. swear words shouldn't be used by lil'uns because they barely understand their own emotions to figure out when to use such intense terms
5. polite conversation has very little place for swear words because they sound impolite (and most polite social situations have very little place for expressing intense cuss-worthy emotional content...save it for personal conversations)

When you walk barefooted through your house in the dead of night in the dead of winter and crush your toe on the wooden leg of your bed...you need a cuss word. Nothing else will truly capture the intense pain-rage you're experiencing.

When you want to really tell someone to do a good job--get them pumped; push them to get hungry (not Ethiopian-hungry, more like Rocky Balboa-hungry)--telling them to kick butt is okay. Telling them to kick some ass turns on the internal fight-movie soundtrack and they will, most definitely, get in there and scrap.

***I don't think you should use swear words to hurt people. I like to try not to hurt people's feelings. You can't help doing it much of the time since you're human. But calling people names or using swear words in unkind ways is also a mis-use of verbal power.

***I've told my wife that if she's at home with no gun and someone's trying to get in, to bust out the filthiest cuss words she can at the felonious ass-munch and shout about how she's going to get her glok and bust a cap in his damned lame-ass (while calling 911 on the cell).

***The F-bomb is called the F-bomb for a reason. It's the most extreme word there is and it's become the most cheapened, sadly. People should gasp when you say it. People should get pissed when you aim it at them. You should feel a little giddy and naughty when you express that it's what you want to do to your spouse. We should keep it behind a glass plate with a little red hammer hanging on the wall next to it. I try not to use it (and fail from time to time) because it's the cuss word nuke. When you bust it out, you have no word tougher, nastier, or more extreme to use. When you bust it out, it's like playing the first spade...at that point, everyone fires all nukes.

***Don't take the Lord's Name in vain. It's a commandment, which makes it pretty danged clear. I won't argue that cuss words aren't dirty or filthy, but I don't feel much like dragging the AO's (Alpha & Omega's) name through my filth.

Hey, be a freaking human being...be a Christian. You know when you should and shouldn't use cuss words--who is likely to be uncomfy with them and who isn't. If you realize you've offended, say sorry (but don't prostrate yourself, sheesh). Cussing doesn't make you a bad Christian. I'm fairly sure that, before my final spiritual merging with the Alpha and Omega and my vocabulary is still limited to my terrestrial imperfections, I'm more likely to say "HOLY SHIT" and then quake in fear and awe when I see my Glorious, than say "Wow! Amazing! Remarkable!" and break into some dusty hymn written in King James' English.

Main thing: we all have our problems. Some Christians gossip. Some hurt their bodies with drugs. Some argue too much. Some judge others. Some lie. Some cheat. Some steal. Some lie. Some don't pray. Some masturbate (too much? not enough?). Some cuss...doesn't mean you're crap or that God will disown you.

Maybe you think I've over-thought this and should just either cuss or not. Well, I like to have my reasons so when the world asks, I have an answer. Take my reasoning or leave it. /shrug

By the way, I'm not really much of a cuss-face. This entry has seen more cussing from me in one day than probably most of last week combined. Just making a damned point.

Dammit.

Intemperate Blogging

2008-05-20T22:05:00.001-04:00

Intemperate. Basically, we could go two routes with my self-imposed description:

1. excessively using / enjoying alcoholic beverages

or

2. extreme; lacking temperance or moderation

Well...the World sees Christians all over the place. Clean Christians. Sweet Christians. Blessed Christians.

...and plenty of other types of Christians, whose noses I'll probably tweak in the future.

I am an imperfect Christian. I'm a human. I sin, have sinned, and will, sadly, sin more in the future. I'm in FULL-OUT need of salvation, forgiveness, mercy, patience, and grace.

I'm intemperate.

Thank God for Jesus. Literally.

I'm not glorifying my fallen state. I'm not excusing it. I know it will seem like I often celebrate it.

But those aren't my intentions. My intention is to openly admit that I'm imperfect and therefore the kind of person that needs to be and wants to be in church.

I want to be in love with Jesus. I want to have my heart broken for my fellow fallen Man and help Jesus win their hearts.

I'm sure as H - E - Double-toothpicks not going to win hearts by : a.) acting holier than thou b.) acting perfect [which I ain't] c.) pretending like I have no idea of the forgiveness that Men and Women need.

I hope to do what I can in the name of God to show folks that I'm just as real as they are and that if God can love me, He can love you, too.

If you like what I say, woot!

If you hate what I say, I'll pray for you. I hope you pray for me (I need it)...but you probably won't because you're too busy telling me I'm going to Hell.

If you are disturbed or provoked by what I say, even more woot!

I'm just glad you're reading and I hope God grabs you by your spiritual *junk and doesn't let go until you give him your heart.

*spiritual junk = your nutsack

Raise Your Hands

2008-05-20T21:47:00.000-04:00

I'm intemperate!

Right...I'm a jellyfish, honestly. I think being faceless maybe helps me speak up and say some things here I might not say aloud in front of people--my friends and family are thinking, "Yeah, right...like there are things you wouldn't say in front of people."

Well...critical things. I'll say weird things, silly things, and often, wrong things in front of people. But I try not to be critical.

So, my first target is nobody and everybody, including myself.

Dude...what is up with hand-raisers in church? They just shoot that fist in the air, tilt the head back, close the eyes, and rock out. They seem so peculiar to me...and I'm jealous of them for it.

I've raised my hands spontaneously in worship once, at Passion On the Hill in 2002, the first time I ever saw (or heard of) David Crowder.

I guess I'm just uptight...and it's annoying me. Don't get me wrong, you can worship just fine without clapping, snapping, stomping, dancing, or putting your hand in the air. But dammit if it doesn't look like I'm missing out on something.

See, the music and worship staff at Avalon Church pretty much melts face. Considering how little time they spend rehearsing compared to other praise bands, and your collective jaws will drop. Andrew Pray is really energetic and talented and Dusty has a voice that could land him the front man spot in just about any ass-kicking band out there. The dude can wail.

Seriously.

Beyond that, I really believe that the worship portion of church is integral to a Christian's development. It's a time to reflect, pray, participate, and get your emotions in tune with loving and being passionate with Jesus. Not too long ago, I would have sneered at the "emotional manipulation churches execute by playing flashy music." That moron had forgotten to read the part in the Bible where God commands us not just to love Him with all of mind, but also with our heart and soul.

So, I really wish I could forget about the people around me for long enough to allow myself to raise my hand and close my eyes and just let the song raise my hairs.

But, see...part of what keeps me from doing it most of the time is...well...my secret...my secret holds me back.

Do you want me to tell you my secret? I think I may be ready to share it...

...I see dead people...

The peeps at Avalon rule SO much. But when I look around in worship services, get pumped by the sick-wicked tunes, feel adrenaline and happiness start to work the muscles in my jaw...and see sooooo many people staring and, at most, clapping mechanically...I want to shout WAKE UP, PEOPLE!!!

I just want people to be able to (or let themselves) access the awe God wants us to have in Him. Being caught up in awe will look different for everybody, but I know it sure as heck looks different than a comatose person staring blandly at the mega-projector-screens.

I'm okay if you don't raise your hands, if you don't clap, if you don't dance...but...but...c'mon! The music! The screens! The lights! JESUS! The Man...The Son of Man...is cutting a rug in those celestial, rugged jeans of His right there in our midst. The Holy Spirit is pounding His metaphysical fist to the beat. God Himself, wrapped in His terrifying, holy, and endless glory is headbanging that flowing silvery mane of God-hair of His....and we stand there like zombies.

Dude...worship service is practice for what we're going to be doing nonstop for eternity. We have so much going great for us at Avalon. I'm going to try and do what I can to practice my Eternal Roll (worship) better. That will likely mean I start raising my hand (whoa...crazy, I know) and singing louder (sorry in advance to those who can hear me).

Dudes, I want to light the place up with our awe. What do you think would happen if we came to church with awe in our hearts? Real OH MY GOD awe?

So...if anyone reads this before Sunday. Keep an eye out. I'm putting my hand in the air. Like I just don't care.